The Power of the Middle Finger
By Gina Simmons, Ph.D.
So you drive to work, start to change lanes (without glancing back over your shoulder) only to notice another car speeding toward you. You correct the error and quickly steer back to your original lane. The other driver speeds by giving you the middle finger salute. Perhaps your heart races a bit. You feel insulted, a little foolish and maybe angry. Yes getting “flipped off” inspires hostility in the receiver of the nasty gesture. I once watched two middle-aged adults in a flip-off contest, each trying to out shout and out gesture the other in an absurd display of immaturity. Funny to watch, in a bad-television-sit-com kind of way.
We find evidence of the insulting middle finger gesture in writings from ancient Greece and Rome. Fans of the Click and Clack radio program will get a kick out of the urban legend they created on the origins of the “Pluck Yew.” Most cultures find the gesture insulting. In France if you give the V-sign with the back of the hand out it translates as “up yours.” The A-OK sign, with thumb and first finger making an O, offends people in Latin American countries. And our cheerful thumbs-up gesture infuriates those from Australia, Bangladesh and most Islamic nations. In the U.S. some have been arrested and convicted for use of the middle finger gesture although most cases were overturned on appeal.
But the real power of the middle finger salute might surprise you. According to new research, “extending the finger in response to an annoying behavior may increase one’s perception of others apparent hostility, potentially justifying further aggressive responses.” (Chandler & Schwarz, 2008). When we use the middle finger we actually see others as more hostile. Likewise, using the thumbs-up sign can cause us to see others as friendlier (Note to troops: don’t try this in Iraq or Afghanistan).
If you want to avoid escalating conflict, try a gesture that will make you feel better: Smile. When you smile facial muscles send messages to your brain priming you to feel better. Others think you look more attractive and will likely smile back. You can start a whole upward spiral of feel-good emotions using far less energy than flipping the digitus impudicus.
On both your argument and your conclusion–Agreed! There’s not much that will incite more anger and escalate a situation than someone flipping the bird to someone else.
That is, unless you wave with all five fingers extended and palm facing out to someone in West Africa…that’s how they indicate that someone has 5 possible fathers!
Good point! Always wise to read about a culture before one visits to avoid disastrous consequences.
Interesting blog post!
I completely agree with your description of what you feel like when you make a foolish error, I have experienced that embarrassed, panic, flush of adrenaline when I realized I almost hit that car. I have recently had the finger flipped my way for driving too slow as the hurried angry driver flew past to show me how it’s done.
I’m the girl who always says I’m sorry. I don’t deserve that much anger, and I feel sad for that person’s family, I have lived with a person filled with rage; towards life, me, and nearly everyone else. Truly awful.
Thanks Kelly. I think we have all committed driving errors. Sometimes it’s too easy to take out our frustration on a stranger. The more we use these hostile gestures, the more we stay hostile. It’s wonderful that you can have compassion for those who show hostility toward you needlessly. That’s a great psychological strength that keeps you resilient.
I once was picking up dry cleaning at a drive thru pick up window. Since I had been doing this for years in a small town and NEVER once had anyone behind me in line, I decided that day to back up to turn around (an easier maneauver in that particular spot). Turns out there were two elderly women behind me I did not see. I BARELY tapped their front bumper, not even enough to scratch anything, but still I felt bad and got out of my van to apologize. The woman driving (probably about 70) had as her passenger what looked to be her 90 year old mother. I was sweet as could be as I apologized. The driver would have nothing of it. She started screaming at me and telling me what an idiot I was. I finally asked her “Are you telling me in your entire lifetime you have never made one single mistake while driving?” She said, “NEVER!” So I told her she was quite an amazing (and obviously “perfect”) woman, and good for her. I then went on my way amazed that someone could ever reach that age with that much rage inside them (surely their bitter hearts would have given out long before that!).
The smile is the universal signal of kindness in every language, understood by all, and even if the other one does not respond at least WE feel better that we have not stooped to the gutter level of humanity. Great blog!
Thanks for such a great post. Well-researched – I enjoy learning about other cultures. Amazing too how a hand can trigger so many reactions. It can be a fist and it can be a handshake and it can wave (and even that can be an insult). Yet that third finger – it can really incite the ill-feelings within us.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. So true how a simple gesture can trigger so much.
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