Comments on: The Power of the Middle Finger

By: Problogger’s 7 Link Challenge | Manage Anger Daily

Problogger’s 7 Link Challenge | Manage Anger Daily — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 22:20:02 +0000

[...] Your most visited post ever: We still get lots of readers for our post The Power of the Middle Finger. Perhaps the combination of our fascination with power and our interest in flipping people off [...]

By: Dr. Gina

Dr. Gina — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:30:41 +0000

Thanks for taking the time to comment. So true how a simple gesture can trigger so much.

By: Suzan Tusson

Suzan Tusson — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:52:33 +0000

Thanks for such a great post. Well-researched – I enjoy learning about other cultures. Amazing too how a hand can trigger so many reactions. It can be a fist and it can be a handshake and it can wave (and even that can be an insult). Yet that third finger – it can really incite the ill-feelings within us.

By: Kelly R

Kelly R — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:25:11 +0000

I once was picking up dry cleaning at a drive thru pick up window. Since I had been doing this for years in a small town and NEVER once had anyone behind me in line, I decided that day to back up to turn around (an easier maneauver in that particular spot). Turns out there were two elderly women behind me I did not see. I BARELY tapped their front bumper, not even enough to scratch anything, but still I felt bad and got out of my van to apologize. The woman driving (probably about 70) had as her passenger what looked to be her 90 year old mother. I was sweet as could be as I apologized. The driver would have nothing of it. She started screaming at me and telling me what an idiot I was. I finally asked her “Are you telling me in your entire lifetime you have never made one single mistake while driving?” She said, “NEVER!” So I told her she was quite an amazing (and obviously “perfect”) woman, and good for her. I then went on my way amazed that someone could ever reach that age with that much rage inside them (surely their bitter hearts would have given out long before that!).

The smile is the universal signal of kindness in every language, understood by all, and even if the other one does not respond at least WE feel better that we have not stooped to the gutter level of humanity. Great blog!

By: Dr. Gina

Dr. Gina — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:30:21 +0000

Thanks Kelly. I think we have all committed driving errors. Sometimes it’s too easy to take out our frustration on a stranger. The more we use these hostile gestures, the more we stay hostile. It’s wonderful that you can have compassion for those who show hostility toward you needlessly. That’s a great psychological strength that keeps you resilient.

By: Kelly Wilson

Kelly Wilson — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 17:02:01 +0000

Interesting blog post!
I completely agree with your description of what you feel like when you make a foolish error, I have experienced that embarrassed, panic, flush of adrenaline when I realized I almost hit that car. I have recently had the finger flipped my way for driving too slow as the hurried angry driver flew past to show me how it’s done.
I’m the girl who always says I’m sorry. I don’t deserve that much anger, and I feel sad for that person’s family, I have lived with a person filled with rage; towards life, me, and nearly everyone else. Truly awful.

By: Dr. Gina

Dr. Gina — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 04:35:51 +0000

Good point! Always wise to read about a culture before one visits to avoid disastrous consequences.

By: Mikal

Mikal — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:21:02 +0000

On both your argument and your conclusion–Agreed! There’s not much that will incite more anger and escalate a situation than someone flipping the bird to someone else.

That is, unless you wave with all five fingers extended and palm facing out to someone in West Africa…that’s how they indicate that someone has 5 possible fathers!