Comments on: Why Girls Should Be Tough and Boys Should Be Tender

By: Dr. Gina

Dr. Gina — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:37:01 +0000

Thank you for your comments Kelly. I agree with you that we need to encourage girls to assert themselves. Also, boys need to be rewarded for showing tenderness and nurturing. The above story was meant to be a parable and was in no way intended to depict a true story.

By: Kelly Wilson

Kelly Wilson — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:21:32 +0000

My sons were raised primarily by a single mother, me. Before their dad died when they were 6 and 8 they also had his influence. He was not particularly “macho”; he wasn’t into sports and was not particularly aggressive. I am one of those females who had to learn to be assertive, I mostly excel at those.. “social and verbal skills designed to make others feel better.” Perhaps this is why I ended up with a type A, abusive and controlling future husband. I had to learn how to use my voice.
I do believe the part of this story of the girl being abducted for years and sexually abused is a bit extreme, it is so recently we learned of Jaccee Duggard. Her bonding with her captor was likely the only way she could survive, her desire to live was strong, perhaps the bone found in his backyard is a missing girl who fought back, authorities say it is “likely human”.
My sons grew up both sensitive and strong, was this their nature, or their nurture? They instinctively loved sports and physical play from a young age.
I think the main thing we need to teach girls is to speak up for themselves, and use their voice. It is okay to be the big mouth girl! My niece Katie is a strong girl who loved Chorus and Hulu dancing, she also loves debate and has gone to other countries with her university debate team.

By: Dr. Gina

Dr. Gina — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:34:10 +0000

Thank you for sharing your personal story.

By: Kelly R

Kelly R — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:35:57 +0000

This subject is extremely important. It needs to be screamed from the rooftops. Your argument is powerful and the subject so sad. One of the greatest things about my husband of 32 years is this very quality of gentleness and tenderness. It makes him an incredible husband and father.

Recently we had an experience, though, which shocked my mind into realizing the huge lack of this in especially younger men. We have a family friend in his early 20′s who told us that he felt compelled to say how moved he was at watching our family singing together, arms around each other. He said it was such a beautiful sight and his eyes filled with tears as he espressed his feelings! I have never in my life seen a young man (other than my own husband) open himself and his soft feelings to others like that. And it made us all care for him even more than we had before.

If girls and boys are taught these very important things from a young age (or better yet, see their own parents model it for them), what happy people they would be!